Day 10

Stayed home with the Little Lady today. She has a low grade fever (101.5). Its Fifths disease or her top teeth coming in. Who knows. Either way we'll be riding it out. I did notice that I had no guilt about staying home with here. Normally if I were the one not feeling well I would have toughed it out and gone to work. There was no question whether or not I would stay home with her. Even though she didn't feel good, I sure did love all the extra cuddles I got today. I love so mush just being in that moment and soaking it in. Nothing like being needed.

After breakfast we went for a walk to Walgreens to get some more baby Tylenol just in case. I noticed that I felt much taller and stronger on our short walk. I haven't really been doing any other form of exercise. Not that I struggled walking before, it just seemed easier. 

I have a confession to make. I broke a rule. I weighed myself. Better than eating non-compliant, but I don't feel bad about it either. I've already forgotten what the scale said, but it was in the 220's and that is good news to me. Today is the first day that I've physically noticed a change. I'm in-between sizes right now which sucks because all my pants are falling down, but the next size down gives me a muffin top, not so cute.

Food:

Breakfast: One and a half hard boiled eggs (Lil had the other half) with sweet potato hash and ground turkey. 

Lunch: Chicken thighs on salad with a vinaigrette. Simple and easy. Served its purpose. 

 

Dinner: Bacon wrapped meatloaf, oven roasted carrots, and green beans. Purdy, ain't she? Delicious too. A little dry because I was so worried about getting some good crispness to the bacon. We devoured the carrots too. None for Lil for tomorrow night. Sorry babe.

Feeling: It was hard being home alone today with Lil. I certainly had moments where I thought about digging a spoon into the carton of ice cream knowing no one would know but me. But it just wasn't worth it. I feel good. Why waste all this effort?

Day 4

Random thoughts of the day:

I tried. I really did. I tried to eat the overcooked frittata again and I just couldn't do it. The egg consistency was just too gross. I don't think I really like frittata in general. Sweet potato hash will be on next weeks menu for sure. I love hard boiled eggs, but I'm struggling for ideas of what to have with them for a veg. The smoothie definitely did not hold me yesterday. A simple spinach salad maybe? 

Fermented foods are something that the folks over at Whole9 suggest consuming daily and I'm not sure how I feel about this. I don't even think I've tried sauerkraut.... I love pickles. I want to try kimchi, but it's just a matter of finding the time to make these things.

Lil was a total doll this morning while I made some mayo and dipping sauces for my veg. when she was tired of playing on her own I put her on my back in the carrier and she was happy as pie back there while I finished prepping dinner in the crockpot, making tuna salad, and chopping my veg. This is the first morning I've ever had her in the carrier for my "chores" and it worked for us beautifully.

Speaking of Lil, I spent some time yesterday researching baby sleep. I've come to the conclusion that I am just going to accept where we are at and not sleep train her. I read studies, blogs, asked advice and then I dug down deep and really thought about how I feel and I am trusting my intuition and I am not going to do a damn thing. Yes, I am running on less sleep. Yes, it sucks that I work full-time and evolution has not had the chance to catch up with how fast our society has evolved and my little Lady still needs to know her Mama is around in the night. It sucks even more that I am not able to nurse her and instead have to get up and make 2-3 bottles in the middle of the night because it is the only thing that puts her back to sleep if she fully wakes. But I am changing my night-time expectations and realize that this is how it is and I only have these moments today, or in our case tonight. She will be a teenager soon enough and I'll be trying to drag her out of bed.

My Penzey's spice order came! How did I not hear about them sooner? A whole box of goodies for not a lot of dough. Very exciting!

I might be grinding my teeth in my sleep again. I don't know how else to explain the swollen bit on the inside of my cheek. 

SeaSnax came in my Amazon order today. I've never had seaweed before. I probably never will again. Not a fan. Tastes like the ocean. Strong. Like strong fish. Strong fish which I do not like. Now I have a six-pack, minus one square of Spicy Chipotle Seaweed Snacks. Yum..... Not.

Food:

Breakfast: Bleck. A few bites of overcooked frittata with avocado and salsa, then is went in the bin. I'll be throwing out the rest I have packaged in the fridge as well. And always my morning joe with coconut milk.

Lunch: Tuna salad which I ate quite proudly with my homemade mayo on lettuce and peppers with some very salty homemade ranch dressing, made from the mayo. I was a little overzealous with my salt this morning during prep. It needs to be thinned out anyway. I wasn't really hungry for lunch, but I didn't eat much for breakfast, so around 1pm I ate anyway knowing that if I pushed it any later dinner would be just before my bed time. I was stuffed and could not finish what I had prepared.

Dinner: Balsamic chicken thighs cooked all day in the crockpot with roasted asparagus and baked sweet potato. I've been trying to not overload on the super starchy veg because I do believe I have  a carb/sugar addiction. I've also not been doing a lot of fruit for the same reason.

Feelings: Physically sore and tired. Part of this is because I'm sleeping on a mat on Lil's floor and waking every couple of hours in the night to be with her, but I think some of the tiredness and the headache I had today is partly from the carb-flu that the Whole30 peeps talk about. Who knows... Day four feels good. This feels sustainable. Nothing like when I did a juicing detox a year and a half ago. That was miserable. I gave up on my fifth day. I was never hungry, but the headaches and roller coaster of emotions were unbearable.

On to day five.